1. dress up in all ways to make yourself feel okay in all situations. going to see a professor? slammin. curled up in the library for ten hours straight with your feet on the table? slammin. accidentally running into a crush? slammin. needing to punch out - verbally or otherwise - a douchebag with inferiority issues? slammin.
2. since coming to america i have finally discovered why you are all so obsessed with drip coffee. that shit is balls out caffeinated. try not to have more than two big ones a day, but if you do, bring painkillers (actually bring painkillers anyway; more likely than not doing law school the ari way you will be hung over or sleep deprived or gym sore or simply dealing with the constant howling despair of having to have rocked up to law school). also apples. apples wake you up much better than coffee and don’t come with extra blurriness and scattered focus.
3. doing research projects always find the section of the library with books on that area of law and just peruse the titles. pull out any books that look interesting and play around with them. maybe read some likely looking chapters. nothing gives you a better overall view of the area of law and what might need covering than a library stack. in fact. ask a librarian. librarians in the US seem to be vaguely contemptuous of you at all times, but they will do what you ask nonetheless.
4. make friends with white whales. by which i mean, people who fulfil your needs, whether emotional, companion-wise, intellectually, financially, adventure-wise or plain old match your schedule. friends? how do make friends? i haven’t made a friend since fifth grade. friends make me. don’t ask me how to make friends i have no idea people just hang around me and come drink tequila with me and ask me for advice and i give it and they seem to like it and hug me and ???? friend? ?
5. work. yeah. work. that thing. um. dunno. know how your brain works and work it the way it works. i cannot stand lectures, but i know i need to go every now and again otherwise i become a hermit and near-catatonic and never leave the house, whereas when i do go out, i tend to stay out almost constantly. one is better than the other. but this means i don’t really work except in concentrated doses. learn an entire semester long course in 30 hours yuh. don’t do that if that’s not how your brain works.
6. get notes, outlines, study plans from other people. find your
there is no cheating in law school except actual plagiarism. the nature of law is to collaborate, to exploit all resources - so long as you know how to apply the law in the end (end being exams, tests, real life - that kind of reality-focused nonsense), why does it matter how you learned to do it?
7. there are woman kings in the law school. i’m not so much one of them. it takes a lot of effort for not much reward. i much prefer being shadow left hand/machiavellian charming court player/ensuring everyone is vaguely intimidated by me but still thinks i’m awesome and lovely. these are all people who will be populating your field and influencing who gets jobs at their firms/corporations/governments/offices you want them to have good - even if only fleeting - impressions of you.
8. you have to take note of people who are bullshitters. don’t panic when people talk about how much study they’ve done or start talking about law you don’t understand; a lot of the time they’re talking shit to comfort themselves because they are also panicking and so talking about the one thing they know about, or waging psychological warfare etc etc
9. you will have to put up with a lot of bullshitters. they are not all bad people, in fact you will likely end up friends with a lot of them, and a lot of douchebags. just remember to never buy into what they’re selling. i like to call them on their shit in humane, gentle ways marbled through with snark that makes them feel like they are in on the joke.
the joke of themselves.
law school people tend to be quite smart; they like to be in on jokes, and you show them a mirror of themselves that is flattering even while it cuts their performance bullshit in half, they will think you are the coolest.
10. get sun.
September 15, 2132
According to a recent study conducted by Harvard University, it is now literally impossible for a student to write an essay pertaining to the themes or symbolism in the popular F. Scott Fitzgerald novel The Great Gatsby without it technically being considered plagiarism.
"I’ve had a number of instances where students would ‘accidentally’ plagiarize another piece of work," says Eugene Smith, an English professor. "Sometimes what they write just happens to be almost identical to what someone else wrote. This was less of a problem earlier in the century, but lately… every essay seems identical to one I’ve already read before."
The study claims that, due to the sheer quantity of papers written on The Great Gatsby, there are “virtually no formations of words pertaining to symbolism and/or theme in The Great Gatsby that have not already been written at least once. Henceforth, any organization of words about the aforementioned novel will, inevitably, bare enough resemblance to at least one, but probably many more, previous writings on the subject, and would therefore technically be considered plagiarism. It’s now linguistically impossible to say anything about The Great Gatsby that has not already been said multiple times, almost verbatim, no matter what.”
One English teacher, who wished to remain anonymous, said that he gave up entering students’ essays into plagiarism detecting programs, as they always showed up multiple results, dating back for decades, even when no conscious plagiarism was performed.
Teachers are currently debating whether to finally remove The Great Gatsby from the curriculum, as there is now “literally nothing left to say about it.””
Symbolism, Theme Essays on The Great Gatsby Literally Impossible To Not Plagiarize, Says Recent Study
The Wishwashington Post
Ten Chick Flick Cliches
Okay, but why is tumblr not talking about this???
NO BUT THIS IS BRILLIANT